Boss Nigger

This video was passed along to me by a friend. I totally want this fuckin’ movie and I think everybody should own it. As well as one negro.

Elephantitus of the Sexy

This came up while I was searching for the term “douche.” I had no idea that douche also meant huge retarded elephantitus ass bitch. She has three asses. Peep em- one where it should be, another 90 yr old ass below it, and even her lower calf muscles make an extremely fuckable ass- crease.

I wanna go bobbin’ for apples in that shit. Better yet, bobbin’ for babies. Cheers black men! Here is your Holy Grail…

Pubic Hair’s, Scissors, Fat People

 

W ell first off I don’t wanna disappoint anyone but this post doesn’t really have anything to do with pubic hairs, cutting of pubic hairs (though I could tell an interesting story) or eating them. Actually, it doesn’t really have anything to do with fat people either. I was just gonna spew about my recent haircut and the erroneous conversation that always accompanies this act and while writing the title, “pubic hair,” fat people,” and “scissors” just seemed to gel.

I basically hate talking while I’m getting my hair cut. Secondly, I don’t understand why the person cutting your hair thinks that you actually want to talk to them. Maybe I’m just an asshole, but motherfucker, I don’t wanna talk to you. I wanna get my damn hair cut, pay you your outrageous flat rate for my “male cut” and be on my way. It usually starts with something like this:

Hair stylist: “Well the sun is finally coming out now. Isn’t that nice?”

Me: “Yeeup.”

Hair stylist: “What’s new? Anything? How’s work?”

Me: “Work’s alright.” (I want to say, “Fuck you! Work sucks my balls bitch. How’s your work? You like cutting hair every day? Each and every fucking day of the week? I bet some people have lice don’t they? I bet you wanna fucking chop their heads off when they do don’t you? Good now let me fart in piece. *Farrrrttttttttttt*

The whole act of talking while your getting something done to you that physically can’t be stopped (ie. hair growing, tumor removal surgery, abortion scraping) just pisses me off. I don’t wanna be there, and I’m sure you don’t either. But it’s your job, so shut the fuck up and do it. When you’re done, I’ll either be pleased or displeased (in the event that your tumor removal or abortion scraping surgery had some complicated malfunction or inadvertent failure that results in terminal infection- dead,) and be on my way. End of story, end of thought.

PS- I just remembered where the “fat people” came from in my brain while I was writing the title of this post.

While my g/f and I were enjoying a casual lunch at a local eatery/cafe this enormous bitch walks in. The kind of enormous where both legs can’t establish their own “zone” kinda shit…you know what I’m talkin’ about… She proceeds to ask the chef something. They were on a first name basis. I thought to myself, “Damn she’s fuckin’ fat. She knows the chef too. Not surprised. I bet she’s getting a second lunch. Stupid fat ass.

Hello Dumpster Divers

H ello Dumpster Divers and welcome to yet another DeCone/DeCrook/DeConanburgh blog. I keep losing interest in my blogs and making new ones. Let’s hope this one keeps the wood burning in my fuck-nut-brain fireplace. ZHANG!! ZHANG!!
 
I don’t really know why I posted this picture. I think it’s mainly b/c I meant to Photoshop the words “Zhang Zhang,” but when I realized how long Photoshop takes to download, I said “fuck it” and Google image searched the words and this was the first photo that came up in the search. Coincidentally, there is actually an ice skating duo named “Zhang-Zhang.”I don’t know if the two are a marital pair, or simply siblings, perhaps both are true. I hope so; a Chinese, inbred, sibling, husband/wife combo ice skating pair seems like a really interesting combo to me.