If there’s one thing I know how to do well it’s gettin’ mah’ cock sucked. I mean shit, all I need is this fucking gun. No charm, no manors, no nuthin’. Just good old nickel-plated steel at my finger tips and VOILA! My dick’s gettin’ sucked. I laugh at all those scum bags who sit in bars all night slammin’ on jizz-juice waitin’ for that stupid tranny-whore to give their dick a lick… if they only knew what I know… how to get a dick sucked!
Like just the other day some douche bag in the subway leans over to me and says…
“Man I wish I could get a girl… You look like an attractive guy, how do I get a girl to like me?”
“Well shit man, you want your dick sucked or you want a relationship, or both? Cause I hate relationships, I just like mouth on my cock. That’s easy. Go to your local shop, pick up a 9mm, and PRESTO! OPERATION DICK SUCK! If you’re talkin’ relationship, I don’t know much about that. Been about 15 yrs since I had me my last relationship. And that was with a dirt-devil, so you don’t want my advice on that subject.
The guy looked a little puzzled at me and that was that. I mean fuck, I can’t MAKE somebody want to get their dick sucked, it only comes naturally I guess.
The greatest story I have about a dick suckin’ was at a party I was at about 2 yrs ago- when I first got the idea to use hard-nosed survival dick-suckin’ tactics.
This bitch comes up to me right? She’s all like: “Why don’t you have a g/f?” To which I respond with: “Cause I hate women. I just like my dick sucked.” “Dont you think that’s degrading to women?” She replies. “No.” I say. “I don’t think so. I don’t discriminate dick- suckers. Guy’s, girls, whores, fags, dogs, cats, fruit, jews… they’re all the same. They got a mouth, they can taste this dick!”
Needless to say, she didn’t stick around for the rest of that convo. I guess she’s “one of those” who doesn’t suck it. Whatever, she’ll go to hell when she dies. No skin off my bone.
Later that night I find this sweet pellet gun in my buddies bedroom nightstand next to his condoms. I’m thinkin’… “why is THIS in here?” Than it hits me like a tonsil on a mushroom… You have to MAKE the bitch want the dick!
From that point on, I have had NO PROBLEMO gettin’ me cocko’ sucked! Mark my words; I live in Heaven!
To all you dudes and she-males out there who like the feelin’ of nice, warm, wet mouth on your cock… get yourself I nice trusty, solid-steel, worm burner. The options are endless… skinny, fat, white, black, Hispanic, oriental, Asian, WHATEVER! The sky, jail, cops, and daylight’s the limit! Get it sucked to your heart’s content.
But always remember: Afterwards, if she/he asks for your number… brandish her/him in the side of the head with your weapon and run! No one needs a relationship to fuck up that freedom you’re about to experience. Go on. Live your life. Now with a chip on your shoulder and a gun your pocket. The world is yours and your dick’s getting it sucked one day at a time!
editorial by: Vince Vegas.
Mr. Vegas writes out of his local Green Bistro Dumpster labeled “Sexy Time”
