I just recently had a guy tell me he had no idea what make of car his rental was when he checked in. I find this not only unbelievable, but particularly representative of how the world works. Either this dude had no short term memory, like Leonard from the all-to-familiar movie of Memento, he was retarded, or he simply just doesn’t give a fuck about money, what he’s doing, where he’s going, or who he is. I don’t care how much money somebody makes, or where they come from, but to simply not notice, or care about simple details in life like, what fucking make or model of the rental your spending hundreds of dollars on is, is just disgusting. I’m glad I’m not that nieve and blahze about the minor details in my life – such as how huge shit can come out of my ass and A) why it doesn’t hurt, B) its amazing ability to camouflage itself with its environment.
I wish Glaceau- makers of Vitamin Water, would battle to the death with Sobe- makers of Life Water, and then finally the world would have only one choice to make, as to which manufacturer of a pointless water product they would like to donate their monopoly money to. I vote on making one universal pointless product called Dumpster Liquid.
Japanese names are so cool sounding. Shigatoshi Hasagawa, Nakada Nagaturu, Akira Kurosawa. American names are not. Clyde Davis, John Smith, Bodunk Fagass. I rest my case.
Cross-eyed people amaze me. Whenever I see someone and they’re noticably cross-eyed I think to myself… “Shit that sucks, I wonder if he thinks the world is all double, or if he thinks he’s just fucking nuts… anyway you look at it, good luck with the penis to vagina thing!!
I love when innocent signs that direct unknowing patrons to otherwise unknown locations for random shit goes wrong. Such as a simple sign that says: “Tool Sale”- and points the arrow in the general direction and gives an indefinite distance such as, just miles ahead. I’d like to do that sometime with a sign that says “Free Alcohol!”. I’d direct people to a barn where inside shelves and cases FULL of rubbing Alcohol would sit. A sign would accompany this that reads: “Rub One Out Free of Charge! Afterwards, Use This to sterilize your shit-for-brains.“
I watched a chubby bitch lay on a bar last night and lift up her shirt to deliver “body shots” to her friends. I realized something amazing. It’s that innate in some whore’s to attract scum-bag-dick that they forget they aren’t attractive. Sticking feathers in your butt does NOT make you a chicken. Putting alcohol in your navel and having friends suck it out does NOT not make you a whore.
