Now On the Market for Bro’s

My name’s Earl and I totally realize now why queers like dudes. I’m sick of my honkin’ wife. What a fuckin’ bitch. She won’t even clean the lint out my belly no more. Fuckin’ whore. I sometimes wish she was a dude. Then we could totally do all sortsa shit together and not have to worry about that male-female, counterpart, Adam and Eve, serpent horeshit. We could just sit around, watch Nascar, football, monster truck rally’s, whatever we want…and fuck! Shit man, no strings attached; no emotions, no tears…well maybe a few. Just good ol’ bro’s hangin’ out and fuckin’.

I could totally get over that whole male-on-male nausea. I only fuck my wife in the ass now anyway. Ever since that shit kid of ours’ head got jammed in the ol’ birth hole, she swore she’d never let another piece of man-meat touch her lower lips. Fuckin’ whore. Now I just put it in her ass and pretend she’s my best friend Tucker.

Oh the good times that fuckin’ asshole and I have. Why can’t my wife be Tucker? Her ass sure as hell ain’t Tucker’s. She don’t cut logs all day and load em into the back of that red, duel-wheeled, twin-cab hemi like Tucker. I bet she don’t even know what Hemi means. Fuckin’ whore. Tucker does. I’d have him screamin’ Hemi all night…if you know what I mean.

At BOCES me and some other dudes used to get together after school and watch porn and jerk off together. No we ain’t fuckin’ queers, we just figured it’s better than bein’ alone. Male bonding is the best after school activity. We just stepped it up a notch or two and made it a free-for-all, dude jerk-fest. I once beat Tucker’s record of 10 straight baby-batter loads in 10 minutes. That fuckin’ asshole. Man he could jerk a dick. Anybody wantin’ to learn a thing er two about jerkin’ should call up my buddy Tucker. His number can be found in the Yellow Pages under “Loggers & Hoggers.”

Yeah I’m definitely on the market now for Bro’s. Anybody wantin’ a real down-to-earth, handy-man call up Earl. I work hard, play harder and don’t give no back-talk. I fuck good and know what a Bro wants. Sex, drugs and rock & roll are my life and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some stupid whore-wife fuck that all up fer me. Let’s get to know each other and become great friends and even better Bro’s. I don’t mind switchin’ it up and takin’ it either. I love to give it, but as long as you don’t sound like my cunt wife and ask me to put the toilet seat down after ass-makin’ you and me could have a long, bright friendship ahead of us.

Get err done!

Call me up! (555-555-5555)
Internet Mail me: brosainthoes@stinkdick.cum